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18 November 2012 @ 02:59 pm
This is likely to stir up a hornet's nest, but I'm in the mood.

Okay, shipping. What exactly does this entail? Is there a mandatory sexual element? Must there be? And just because a segment of fandom adheres to a particular ship, should The Powers That Be and the actors involved in the fantasy ship be obligated to listen to/tolerate/agree with this shippery?

Little back-story: I listened to an interview with Misha Collins on Winchester Radio
a few days ago and they took caller questions, unscreened. (Probably not the wisest idea.) The last one was courtesy of a weepy young lady who was desperate for Misha to comment on 'Destiel'. He hemmed and hawed and tap-danced around it, she kept pushing, and it all ended up feeling very awkward. About the same time, an essay
popped up on my tumblr dash concerning how good it is that shipping come out of the closet, particularly for the LGBT community (with specific reference to Destiel).

Now, my brother is gay. I read NC-17 slashy fanfic. I'm not a homophobe but as a woman married to a dude, I'm in no position to adjudicate what it's like to be gay or bi. Nor do I feel like we, as a fandom, have the right to bully the show's writers/actors into compliance with ANY of our wishes unless they damned well feel like addressing the topic. And if certain fans are too socially ass-backward to suss out when they're making someone uncomfortable, do we not have the right to comment? Do we not have the right to put a foot down?

There's been a lot of talk about 'shaming' ... ship-shaming, kink-shaming, etc. and how we shouldn't tolerate it. We're all freaks of some stripe; who are we to judge? But there ARE LINES, folks. When we begin to make someone else uncomfortable, we need to back the fuck off and rethink our tactics. Criminy, put yourself in their shoes. Yes, you have the right to say what you want. Guess what? SO DO THEY.

Please don’t shove your ship in anyone’s face and expect them to put their blessing on it, especially not in public. Please don’t assume that shipping is some greater societal statement. Write your own story; let others write theirs.

All comments welcomed, but pleeeease, stay civil, 'kay?
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: 'What If We Give It Away' - REM
ficwriter1966ficwriter1966 on November 18th, 2012 09:13 pm (UTC)
While I think Misha can handle pretty much anything the fandom throws at him (and might well go home and have a good laugh about most of it), I agree with you that people ought to put their Big Girl Hats on and use a little common sense when dealing with the actors, writers and production crew. (I haven't listened to the podcast, but I imagine Misha tried not to hurt or insult the caller -- I've seen him merrily mock the Destiel situation, or play along with it to the nth degree, in con vids, and perhaps he realized that this person was not receptive to being teased, and tried his best to be diplomatic?)

I think some of this situation arises out of the "anything goes" atmosphere on the Internet. Since people have these rolicking discussions about the ship of their choice, and gather a ton of reinforcement for their feelings from others in their group, it's just one more small step to blurt something out in front of the actors and expect them to agree and sympathize. They seem to honestly BELIEVE in what they think they're seeing, no matter how many other people tell them, "Ummm...no."

The worst of it seems to be the rampant crazy that's the J2 shippers. I've read some truly astonishing, ugly nonsense regarding Jensen and Jared's supposed relationship -- and some of these "fans" feel free to bombard Jared with it via Twitter. Behavior like that just turns my stomach. J&J, and their wives and families, must be truly weary of seeing/hearing it.
The indefatigable Mrs. Griffinquickreaver on November 18th, 2012 11:22 pm (UTC)
Yeah, Misha was trying very hard not to hurt the girl's feelings; she was quivery with nerves. And I agree with you about the Wild West of the internet. It's really important IMHO to bring relationships into the Real World ™ and see beyond what you specifically cull over the internet.