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18 November 2012 @ 02:59 pm
Thinky-thoughts...  
This is likely to stir up a hornet's nest, but I'm in the mood.

Okay, shipping. What exactly does this entail? Is there a mandatory sexual element? Must there be? And just because a segment of fandom adheres to a particular ship, should The Powers That Be and the actors involved in the fantasy ship be obligated to listen to/tolerate/agree with this shippery?



Little back-story: I listened to an interview with Misha Collins on Winchester Radio
a few days ago and they took caller questions, unscreened. (Probably not the wisest idea.) The last one was courtesy of a weepy young lady who was desperate for Misha to comment on 'Destiel'. He hemmed and hawed and tap-danced around it, she kept pushing, and it all ended up feeling very awkward. About the same time, an essay
popped up on my tumblr dash concerning how good it is that shipping come out of the closet, particularly for the LGBT community (with specific reference to Destiel).

Now, my brother is gay. I read NC-17 slashy fanfic. I'm not a homophobe but as a woman married to a dude, I'm in no position to adjudicate what it's like to be gay or bi. Nor do I feel like we, as a fandom, have the right to bully the show's writers/actors into compliance with ANY of our wishes unless they damned well feel like addressing the topic. And if certain fans are too socially ass-backward to suss out when they're making someone uncomfortable, do we not have the right to comment? Do we not have the right to put a foot down?

There's been a lot of talk about 'shaming' ... ship-shaming, kink-shaming, etc. and how we shouldn't tolerate it. We're all freaks of some stripe; who are we to judge? But there ARE LINES, folks. When we begin to make someone else uncomfortable, we need to back the fuck off and rethink our tactics. Criminy, put yourself in their shoes. Yes, you have the right to say what you want. Guess what? SO DO THEY.

Please don’t shove your ship in anyone’s face and expect them to put their blessing on it, especially not in public. Please don’t assume that shipping is some greater societal statement. Write your own story; let others write theirs.

All comments welcomed, but pleeeease, stay civil, 'kay?
 
 
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: 'What If We Give It Away' - REM
 
 
 
katsheswimskatsheswims on November 18th, 2012 10:15 pm (UTC)
I don't think shipping has to have a sexual element. It seems like a romantic element should be part of it, but I don't really see why it can't also apply to just an epic friendship?

As for involving the actual people who play the characters people ship together...that is very very iffy. I certainly wouldn't say anything.

On the one hand it seems alright for someone to ask a question to (let's say) Jensen about how Dean (or he) feels about Lisa, Jo, Bela etc relationship-wise (meaning romantic or friendship or general relations--however he takes it), and the same for how he feels about Cas, Benny, Garth etc, but when the questioner tries to push a sexual element into the question that makes things uncomfortable.

I think fans shouldn't ask something that they feel might make anyone feel uncomfortable. And fans shouldn't expect validation of their (non-canon) ships from the actors etc! I don't know if I'm explaining well...

But really I agree with everything you said in your post.

Edited at 2012-11-18 10:24 pm (UTC)
Amberamberdreams on November 20th, 2012 11:44 am (UTC)
I agree. It's a totally different matter to ask and actor about how they see his or her relationships with fellow characters - and to a certain extent, how they see their relationships with the other actors off the set. But then the trick is to listen to what they are willing to share in answering those questions, and to respect their answers, not to then project your own fantasies onto thei real life experiences!