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18 November 2012 @ 02:59 pm
This is likely to stir up a hornet's nest, but I'm in the mood.

Okay, shipping. What exactly does this entail? Is there a mandatory sexual element? Must there be? And just because a segment of fandom adheres to a particular ship, should The Powers That Be and the actors involved in the fantasy ship be obligated to listen to/tolerate/agree with this shippery?

Little back-story: I listened to an interview with Misha Collins on Winchester Radio
a few days ago and they took caller questions, unscreened. (Probably not the wisest idea.) The last one was courtesy of a weepy young lady who was desperate for Misha to comment on 'Destiel'. He hemmed and hawed and tap-danced around it, she kept pushing, and it all ended up feeling very awkward. About the same time, an essay
popped up on my tumblr dash concerning how good it is that shipping come out of the closet, particularly for the LGBT community (with specific reference to Destiel).

Now, my brother is gay. I read NC-17 slashy fanfic. I'm not a homophobe but as a woman married to a dude, I'm in no position to adjudicate what it's like to be gay or bi. Nor do I feel like we, as a fandom, have the right to bully the show's writers/actors into compliance with ANY of our wishes unless they damned well feel like addressing the topic. And if certain fans are too socially ass-backward to suss out when they're making someone uncomfortable, do we not have the right to comment? Do we not have the right to put a foot down?

There's been a lot of talk about 'shaming' ... ship-shaming, kink-shaming, etc. and how we shouldn't tolerate it. We're all freaks of some stripe; who are we to judge? But there ARE LINES, folks. When we begin to make someone else uncomfortable, we need to back the fuck off and rethink our tactics. Criminy, put yourself in their shoes. Yes, you have the right to say what you want. Guess what? SO DO THEY.

Please don’t shove your ship in anyone’s face and expect them to put their blessing on it, especially not in public. Please don’t assume that shipping is some greater societal statement. Write your own story; let others write theirs.

All comments welcomed, but pleeeease, stay civil, 'kay?
Current Mood: contemplativecontemplative
Current Music: 'What If We Give It Away' - REM
Amberamberdreams on November 20th, 2012 11:22 am (UTC)
The trouble is - these guys are heterosexual and I very much doubt they have felt any sexual attraction to another guy in their lives. I'm heterosexual and have never wanted to have sex with another woman. I've wondered what it might be like, I have an appreciation of the beauty of other women's forms but I don't want to have sex with one. And I should think if someone wanted (which they wouldn't because I'm not famous or attractive!) to write loads of sexy-times fic about me having sex with other women, I don't think I'd get much out of reading it. (My hubby might, but that's a different kettle of fish LOL!!)

And even if they had wanted to dabble, so to speak, that is nobody's business but their own. If they are curious and bring it up, by all means explain it, but don't expect them to suddenly embrace the whole slash culture. This weekend at A9 there were a few discussions about fanfic and Richard was quite happy to explain what slash was to (I think) Rob. He obviously finds the phenomenon amusing but even he wouldn't want to get into some deep discussion about who should fuck whom! There are lines, but some people really don't seem to get it.

For instance, some young girl got up on stage and stripped off her t shirt because she wanted Seb to wear her shirt and really wanted him to give her his shirt in return - he didn't. But one of the con organisers had to go up on stage and cover her up with his jacket because she was just standing there in her bright turquoise bra. Seb had made sure she had underwear on before allowing her up there but it was still embarrassing. He might seem to have no shame but I don't think he's actually that comfortable with that kind of situation, particularly as he has got a girl friend now.
The indefatigable Mrs. Griffinquickreaver on November 20th, 2012 02:20 pm (UTC)
Oy vey. She took off her shirt? Hang on there, crazy, pump the brakes!

I hope she is duly embarrassed right now, and has learned her lesson. LINES, people, LINES. Boundaries. You know, those funny things we draw in the sand. Is it getting more and more extreme lately? It kinda sounds like it has ...

At Chicon, Speight and Cohen kept getting asked these lengthy, involved questions about canon their characters weren't even involved in. Speight did two panels that weekend; on the second one, he requested NO MORE OF THOSE QUESTIONS. And when someone asked one, he didn't pussyfoot around it; he waved them on.

Maybe that's what Show needs to do: confront the issue once and for all. NO, there is no Destiel in this current storyline. NO, Sam and Dean do not fuck each other. I can see why they hesitate, though. They don't want to dampen anything the fans might be doing to further enjoy the show, and this includes writing slashy fanfic. They'd just rather it not be paraded in front of their faces. Hello, YOUR kink might not be THEIR kink.
Amberamberdreams on November 20th, 2012 03:51 pm (UTC)
Yup, shirt off on stage. The audience were caught between - yay, Sebastian taking of his shirt! and oh gawd, did she really just do that? In public?

And your last point - exactly. I've discovered kinks I never knew I had but outside of fandom I am not going to parade them around for anyone else to see. The fact that I read fanfic about J2 fucking doesn't mean I believe they do it in real life - or in fact actually want them too! I'm not embarrassed to talk to them in real life because there is actually a big wall in my head between fantasy and realisty so when I am chatting to them getting their autograph the whole idea of either of them nekkid, fucking each other, or even their wives doesn't even enter my head!

Lines and boundaries, folks.